To Feel the Moment
a Ukrainian who is now a paramedic of the volunteer battalion Hospitallers
“One mine hit right next to the car. I ran to the shelter. On the way, one more mine hit right next to me. When I got into the garage, the third mine hit the garage. It collapsed pretty nicely — I was right in the middle,” Viktoriia Honcharuk, 22, explains the origin of her concussion. This March, the Russian drone attacked her when she was cleaning a car after another injured soldier in the East of Ukraine. “Hands and legs are okay, but I’ve got beaten a little.”
In May 2022, in the United States, Viktoriia graduated from Minerva University with a double degree in Finance and Computer Science. In the fall, she returned to Ukraine to become a paramedic in the Ukrainian volunteer battalion Hospitallers.
There are two photos on Viktoriia’s Instagram posted next to each other. There is a photo where Viktoriia and her friends are celebrating graduation. The location tag is California, the United States. In the next picture, Viktoriia, in a bullet-proof vest, holds a Ukrainian flag in front of the sign: “I love Bakhmut!” the Ukrainian city right on the frontline.
Since the beginning of the full-scale war, Viktoriia wanted to come back to Ukraine to help the country fight against Russian aggression. However, she had to finish her degree and deal with some obligations in the U.S. Still, Viktoriia found a way to be useful right away. In March 2022, she started a fundraiser and later established a charity fund, Supplies to Ukraine C.I.C., which provides Ukrainian soldiers with first aid kits.
“At first, it was enough for me to help run the charity, but with time, the feeling of helping enough was vanishing. I was looking for ways to go to Ukraine.”
The paramedic says that joining Hospitallers was the perfect option for her. The organization is a volunteer battalion, which is not a part of the army. It allows its members to be flexible in their schedule and level of commitment. Yet, there is one of the ways of direct and effective help on the frontline.
“I feel that it is the most important moment in the history of my country, and I would like to be involved as much as possible. To be there directly. To feel. This is something that many people are going through right now. I want to live in Ukraine in the future. I think that if I won’t feel the trauma, and if I won’t help, I will not be able to understand post-war Ukraine.”
Before Hospitallers, Viktoriia had not had any medical experience. She started getting ready to be a paramedic while being a student. She was learning a theory of tactical medicine and working on her physical shape in the United States. In Ukraine, she went through the mandatory training that Hospitallers offers.
Since joining the battalion, Viktoriia has beentrying to go to the Ukrainian East as many times as possible. Usually, there are lists of volunteers leaving for rotation. Listing yourself is one way to go. The other way is to find those who are already leaving and join them. That’s what Viktoriia has been doing.
During one of the March night shifts, Viktoriia picked up injured soldiers in the middle of the Donbas steppe. Inside the paramedic bus, there was a soldier with a concussion, a soldier with an arm amputation, and chaos. Outside, there was the Russian artillery working.
The soldier with a concussion was demanding Viktoriia give him his backpack. Instead, she was trying to give him an injection. As the soldier was insisting, Viktoriia promised to pass him the bag, but only after the injection. “I am afraid of injections,” he replied.
At that moment, the other soldier, with his one hand, reaches for the backpack and passes it through Viktoriia to his companion. It makes her angry until she sees what it is all about. The soldier gets the bar of chocolate out of his bag and hands it to Viktoriia — a thank-you gift for saving their lives.
“The attitude surprised me. I know that everyone is pretty positive, but such enormous positivity charges you. Because otherwise, I don’t know how you could survive there.”
Viktoriia is not the only one in her family who is, in one way or another, related to the army. Viktoriia’s father serves in the Ukrainian Armed Forces. Her mom used to be a part of the territorial defense. Viktoriia’s sister joined the brigade of the National Guard of Ukraine, Azov. Still, they all reacted differently to Viktoriia’s will to become a paramedic.
Her sister was supportive, giving advice and sharing experiences. Her father said, “I do not like it [Viktoriia’s decision], but I understand it.” Her mother did not like the idea at all.
“I am 22 years old, and I have to lie to my mom to some extent,” Viktoriia admits. Her mom knows that her daughter is a paramedic, but she chooses not to know where exactly she is. While Viktoriia is helping soldiers at point zero, her mom believes that she is on the home front, hundreds of kilometers away from the hottest spots. Viktoriia also has not decided yet whether to tell her mother about the injury.
At the same time, Viktoriia believes that not everyone is made to join the military as not everyone can perform tasks effectively at hot spots. “Fear at war is one of the worst things that can happen. If you are afraid to be there, if you are afraid to die, there is a little use [of the human potential].”
Viktoriia’s friend, Nataliia, is one of those who finds alternative ways to support the army. Recently, Nataliia launched a separate campaign to support Viktoriia’s ongoing charity with money.
“Viktoriia and I had a very similar background before the war: both of us are of the same age, both of us went on exchange to the U.S. as teenagers, and both of us studied abroad. These similarities in our lives make me inspired by her bravery even more. It gives me hope when I see that there are such individuals who are constantly choosing to help.”
Currently, Viktoriia is in Kyiv waiting for her health to get better so she can get back to the frontline:
“After I’ve seen the eyes of the soldiers, who I am helping, whose life I am saving, I just want to be there for them. How will they be there without me? I am pissed at the fact that I am here. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to be with them.”
*The conversation took place at the end of March 2023.
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Anastasiia Mozghova is a student at the American University in Bulgaria, majoring in Journalism and Mass Communication. She is grateful to and inspired by every volunteer and soldier who is bringing the Ukrainian victory closer.
